Texas Border Wall Complete

[Canada Joe]

Texas Constructs U.S. Border Wall To Keep Out Unwanted Americans

WICHITA FALLS, TX —Calling it an essential step toward securing the Texas border and protecting his people's way of life, Gov. Rick Perry announced Tuesday the completion of a 1,953-mile wall designed to keep out millions of unwanted Americans.

  

According to Texas Army National Guard Brig. Gen. Tom Alford, Americans will only be permitted to cross the border if they have immediate family living in Texas, in which case they can apply for a 90-minute monitored visitation to be held inside a checkpoint detention facility.

However, Alford stressed that any American attempting to transport barbecue sauce, beef jerky, belt buckles, or longhorn cattle back to the United States will face the death penalty.

Thus far, a majority of Texas citizens support the border wall, with nearly 8 million signing up to join a coalition of Minutemen that will guard the fence.

"These good-for-nothing Americans want to come in here and wait in the same lines as me, watch the same movies, and eat at the same restaurants," El Paso resident and border patrol volunteer Larry Carlile told reporters. "Who do they think they are? I'd never dare waltz into America and act like I owned the place. That country's a godforsaken hellhole, anyway."

"Round 'em up and get 'em out," Carlile added. "Go back to Seattle or whatever you call it."

[Vladd44]

I love the Onion. But I firmly believe that at the end of the day, Texas Secession will be a reality.

Unfortunately the current wave of secession talk is more about one side losing an election and being sore losers than anything else, but there are those of us that support secession regardless of what empty suit occupies the white house.

We might be willing to sell the bbq sauces, beef and belt buckles.... just not the oil.

And for those who think Texas is out of their minds with consideration of secession, understand that for every Federal dollar Texas pays into the system, the return is 97 cents.

I must confess I found the fence around Austin pretty funny, no doubt it is in many ways the antithesis of Texas. But at the end of the day, Austin citizens are Texans as well, even if they were dumb enough to vote for the TOTUS.