How to save the airline industry.

[Canada Joe]

Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place.
Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers! What the hell -- They don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss?
The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a 'party atmosphere' going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women.
Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn't need a salary, thus saving even more money.
Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline industry would see record revenues. This is definitely a win- win situation if we handle it right -- a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.

Why didn't Bush think of this? Why do I still have to do everything myself?
Sincerely,
Bill Clinton

[Vladd44]

Sigh...

And now Nobby will be demanding equal rights and wanting sheep and young boys on the plane.

[..Ñøßߥ..]

I will never fly Vladdair again, scantily clad sheep as air hostesses, Vladd & Plym flying the plane naked except for sailors hats and Brokeback mountain as the in flight movie?

Back to good old British Airways for me..........

[Sable]

Forget Vladdair or British Airways..... fly Sableair !!!

free pies and chocolate (for me)
free sheep for Vladd and Plym
free brains for April (they are fresh from our last crash)
free male stripper for Canada Joe
free whores for Nobby
and free for all the movie "Sable does Dallas"

[bincoder]

Teach them simple facts, like free peanuts == thirsty customers who will pay good US currency for beer?
Cut them off == less than delighted customers.
Less than delighted customers == negative profit.
Blessings upon Southwest, one of the few that arent retarded?

[April]

free brains for April (they are fresh from our last crash)

I don't want damaged and/or dead brains. I want them still working properly and inside the heads of their original owners...guys that know how to use them.

Now if you can promise that I'll have some sexy male brains sitting next to me to talk to during the long flight, and that you'll lock my hubby in a special moron storage compartment (and eject the contents of this compartment over the middle of the Atlantic), I'll come visit you tomorrow.

[April]

Teach them simple facts, like free peanuts == thirsty customers who will pay good US currency for beer?
Cut them off == less than delighted customers.
Less than delighted customers == negative profit.
Blessings upon Southwest, one of the few that arent retarded?

When they got rid of the peanuts (because peanut dust was affecting the health of allergic passengers) they should have replaced it with a free bag of Doritos. They have more salt than those damn peanuts and they are probably cheaper to provide.

An even better idea would be Andy Capp Hot Fries...hot & spicy, loaded with salt, and dirt cheap....it would more than triple the drink sales.

[SweetGirl420]

An even better idea would be Andy Capp Hot Fries...hot & spicy, loaded with salt, and dirt cheap....it would more than triple the drink sales.

It has been a LONG time since I have even thought about Hot Fries!! I used to "live" off those in school!

[April]

It has been a LONG time since I have even thought about Hot Fries!! I used to "live" off those in school!

So did I...Hot Fries & Jimmy Buff's!

The Hot Fries were the same price for a big bag vs. the little bag of some other type of chips. Made more sense to buy the Hot Fries than 4 little bags of something else. And nobody else liked them, so I had the whole bag to myself.

And the Jimmy Buff's food was free...I knew everyone that worked there. (the owner was a major contributer to my daughter's college fund)

[Sable]

free brains for April (they are fresh from our last crash)

I don't want damaged and/or dead brains. I want them still working properly and inside the heads of their original owners...guys that know how to use them.

Now if you can promise that I'll have some sexy male brains sitting next to me to talk to during the long flight, and that you'll lock my hubby in a special moron storage compartment (and eject the contents of this compartment over the middle of the Atlantic), I'll come visit you tomorrow.

That's a deal !!! Welcome to Sableairlines !

[April]

Found this ad at the top of the page just now:

SNAG-00080.png (3.5 KiB) Viewed 98 times

WTF?? They give out phd's for that?

And all these years I thought it was a joke when a certain waitress at a diner would remark about an old hag waitress that acted like she knew everything, having graduated from waitress school with a phd. I guess that old hag is an ex-flight attendant.