CandyMan 05/11/1972 to 06/24/2008

[Vladd44]

Yesterday morning the day was just a few hours old when I received a call. A friend's myspace page (No I don't have a myspace page, nor will I) had some recently updated text that could only be taken to mean that an old friend had died.

I hesitate to call him an old friend, it has been close to a decade since we have spoken. But in years before that, it would be an understatement to say our worlds intersected. When I spoke to his sister and asked how he died her answer was "You Know". I had immediately thought OD initially, but considering he had been shot once before ...... but OD it was.

I met Candyman not long after he had turned 18, what makes the age stand out is his "record" at the time. The he used to laugh that he had been arrested once for each year of his birth by the time he turned 18. He was not what I would call a criminal, but there are more than a few people who would label me a criminal even now, so perhaps I am not the best one to rightly divide people up into criminals and non.

But he did have a tendency to say whatever the hell he chose to say, regardless of whether the people around him wanted to hear it or not. Unfortunately, the cops did not tend to appreciate this candid approach. So for the most part his trips to jail could be summed up as mischievous or foolish rather than violent or mean.

By this time he was already an alcoholic, and throughout the years I knew him the list got longer. Several of those years our lists coincided. I will not even try to list the range of the time, but suffice it to say that opiates and pain medicine were not alone on the dance card.

The best Mardi Gras I ever had was with Man, we had $40 which we had gotten selling some drunk fool a few odd looking aspirin as Demerol. That supplied our first bottle of Vodka, a case of beer and cigarettes which we bought the night before. On the trek into the French Quarter early that morning Man spotted a $20 on the ground, which supplied enough to get our second liter and case around mid afternoon.

But I am getting ahead of myself, by 9am we had been picked up by the cops for something another drunk had done (at least they picked him up too), had been brought to the precinct with the choice of "going to jail or cleaning", we opted for cleaning. Later we both joked how we were picturing an agonizing day of street cleaning and other time consuming tasks, but at the precinct all they told us to do was clean the bathrooms and a hot dog vending machine located in their lobby. I quickly volunteered for the Vending Machine, leaving the bathrooms to Man and the f**k who had actually gotten us in trouble (We didn't know the f**k, and he was acting like an ass which is what got the cops called in the first place). After quickly getting through the cleaning, I found Man trying to help the f**k finish his cleaning because the guy could barely walk.

I had been eying up the door the whole time, no one had taken our ID or names at this point. So I suggested to Candyman that we just prop the drunk guy up in the bathroom and walk out. Which is exactly what we did. After a 10 minute walk to the corner we had been on we were pleasantly surprised to find my vodka, his beer and our cigarettes still in our bags. As an added bonus the girl I was talking to was still there as well.

Parts of the day get a bit vague, but after a little difficulty getting out of a parking spot (to go score dope, which for some reason I don't recall actually doing) we parked elsewhere later in the day, culminating in our third and final score of the day. A leather coat for $10 (all we had left), which we promptly sold for our last $40 splurge.

We spent a little over 24 hours straight out before heading home. 3 liters of Vodka, and 3 cases of beer along with whatever other supplements we could come across only goes so far. But in a day that included a semi-arrest, hitting a few parked cars, we came out pretty well. Not a bad day considering the whole thing was essentially paid for by a few aspirin.


There are many stories that come to mind when I think of Candyman, most of them with the potential for tragedy, but always escaped. Others simply vintage Candy, like the time he sold this girl's ferret he was supposed to be watching because we were taking to long in the bar, hiding the money under the bar before the police picked him up (the money was still there a few days later). I have often wondered if he would have been as quick to sell a gerbil to a gay man as quickly as he sold a gay man the ferret.

Or about the time we managed to get paid on the same entertainment center three times.

Or the Halloween where during the short trip to our destination, he took an entire bag of H when I had told him to only take a half. He ended up being dumped upon his front yard. He used to joke that he had played a dead body that year.

But it wasn't that many months later there was a body, and a couple days after that body..another. This time on the very lawn Candyman had "played a body". Two brothers dead in two days, both of them siblings of his brother-in-law. I did not know the older brother well, we had spoken but not much else, he was not really into the drug scene, and his use/OD was a surprise. But at the same time his lack of regular use was also a rationalization as to why it happened.

But the younger brother was an entirely different matter, Stevie was always ready to do whatever he could get his hands on. He was the second body, the one on the front lawn. I vividly recall calling 911 that Sunday morning hoping against the reality my eyes were telling me that he would be OK.

It still pains me to remember hearing the remaining brother talking to his mother on the phone while the paramedics were bagging her second son in 2 days. He could not tell her, and honestly I cannot blame him.

I made a choice that day. I know that vocalizations were met with extreme skepticism from some, many even expressed it. Unfortunately when it comes to addiction words and actions rarely equate. But as I told them then, when I quit, I quit, and I did. No relapse, no one more time for old times, nothing. Since then I have been around it, even held it in my hands, it holds no appeal. I learned the price that day in a very personal way. A price not worth it.

Candyman was there that night, I only wish he had learned that same lesson, but reality is in a time when others are picking their first high school electives addiction had already started waging it's war in Man. Ultimately he died according to the choices he made, just as most of us will. I am sure that others will psychoanalyze his life to death (did not intend the pun), but all I know is that it still remains a tragedy and that he will be missed.

[Sable]

Its a sad story and i´m sorry for Candyman

[April]

My dad refers to those crazy stories told by people that have walked away from it, the ones of how much fun they had while abusing themselves with drugs & alcohol, as "war stories". The term is quite fitting, don't you think?

Over the years I have watched a lot of friends lose the war with themselves. It's a hard thing to watch and hard news to hear, especially when you have been living your life dreading and expecting to hear it at any moment. It doesn't make it any easier when you finally do.

I am very sorry that your friend never found a reason or motivation to do something better with his life than to abuse himself with drugs and alcohol. I am very sorry that he lost his war.

That being said, I am glad you found the motivation and I am glad you won.

[DragonRider]

My condolences, Vladd on the loss of your friend. My grandfather always told me that as long as there is someone alive who remembers your name then you are not really gone. You have given your friend a fitting eulogy. If you need me for anything just give a shout.

[Sable]

Same here

[Vladd44]

This was not intended as some issue of personal loss.

I feel for his family, who are the ones ultimately paying for his choices.

I hate this happened to Candyman, he wasn't a bad guy. A f**k no doubt, I am relatively certain I have heard him personally label himself a "professional f**k". Even true, it cannot exactly be a image booster to consider yourself a "professional f**k".

One thing I failed to mention is that the two of us had more than a few conversations about god and religion. He consistently took the position that the bible was a complete POS.

I have no idea how he ultimately decided on the issue, it was a long time ago. But I just can't see him getting to worked up over goblins, demons and gods he could not see.

Honestly it was more about divergent choices. And the fact that there is only one point in which it is to late to change the direction you are heading. Seeing the road is one thing, taking it is another.

[Boki]

My sympathy & regards to you Vladd and the family that lost him. It's always hard to lose someone that you've known either friend or relative and it doesn't matter if you haven't spoken with them in a long while, it's still hurts. Please pass my condolences to the family.

Thank you!

[< E >]

You probably understand how well i relate to this Vladd


Tried to stop taking Heroin, drugs all around like a terrible din

Tried to quit with Dyhdrocodine, impossible feat as am sure some have seen

Tried to time and again, body living in constant pain daily routine under the strain

Tried to with Methadones route, drugs a brute gets in your bones still lets you shoot

Tried to with Subutex, a last resort tired of supporting my chemical cohort

Tried to take it in my stride, it worked well i regained my pride

Tried to forget what was inside, the chemical feelings within me reside

Tried to leave it all behind, relax the strain let it unwind

Trying to move on take a chance, getting older at first glance

R.I.P My Addiction

[Vladd44]

On the passing of the second anniversary of Candyman's death, I could not help but note that at least one of the posters on this thread succumbed recently in his own battles.

And one more that while unreached I cannot help but think the worst.